Freshman year hookups you won’t want to miss

This entry is part 3 of 2 in the series Sextion


The Guy from Your Friend’s Hall Who Told Her He Thinks You’re Cute and Also He’s An Athlete

Athlete - Booty Call

Wow, the world of college D1 athletes. He’s in season and his muscles are bulging out of his muscle tee (the one with the sleeves cut down to his waist). He wears his gym shorts everywhere, from the Ratty to his Econ classes. He’s so busy with school and his sport you won’t even have to worry about it going anywhere. Don’t forget, there’s a whole team where that came from!

That Outdoorsy BOLT Guy Who Is So Cute and Scruffy and Loves To Hike and You’re Going To Be Hooking Up In His Sleeping Bag On Top Of A TwinXL Mattress

His Birkenstocks and dirty toes are calling to you. His eyes are bright as he whispers in your ear about the amazing time he and his friends had camping at BAMF for three weeks this summer.


The Rich Kid From Connecticut With A Car Who Will Drive You To The Mailroom To Pick Up All Of The Clothes You Mailed Yourself Because They Wouldn’t Fit In Your Suitcase

They’ll probably make fun of you for the embarrassing notes that slip out of the memento-filled boxes your mom shipped you along with your clothes, but that’s the price you must pay.

Care Pkg

The People You Meet At Whiskey Wednesday If That Still Exists

Sweaty, gross, boring.


The Mysterious Girl From Your Hall Who You See In The Bathroom While You Brush Your Teeth But She Uses Tom’s Toothpaste So You Can’t Decide If You Should Hook Up

Sure, she’s super hot, but what is she doing using Tom’s toothpaste? Who in their right mind still uses Tom’s toothpaste after they’ve moved out of their parents’ house? Is she a masochist? Does she eat dirt?

That Special Breed of Softboy You Only Find At RISD Parties

Probably has a girlfriend but you won’t find out until after you’ve hooked up. Will tell you that you really ‘get’ his art, and she doesn’t, but he can’t break up with her because, well, he won’t give you a reason.


Images via Kelly Carey-Ewend ’19, viaviaviaviavia, and via

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