Introductions. You’re doing it wrong.

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It’s September at Brown, and whether you’re a senior or a first-year, you will likely have to introduce yourself to fellow Brunonians more times than you care to count. But aren’t you sick of the classic lines Brown students use to get to know one another? If so, read on—The Blognonian doesn’t care about what dorm you’re living in, either.

 

My name is _____, and I’m majoring in _____.

 

Your decision to ignore the term “concentrating” establishes you as a rebel right off the bat.

 

You don’t have to be intimidated by me—I was only salutatorian.

 

This is an instant way to breed understanding with a fellow underdog.

 

I’m from a small, rural town in southern New York.

 

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It doesn’t matter if you’re from Westchester; this is technically true and will give you an “in” with country kids and hipsters alike.

 

Harvard sucks! I would’ve rejected them if I could’ve!

 

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This won’t give away the fact that Harvard was your top choice but you didn’t get in.

 

Hi, are you from California?

 

At Brown, there’s a very good chance that the answer will be yes. If your new friend asks you where you’re from, you can’t back down now—just say San Jose. Go Giants!

 

I’m _____, and I love to run half-marathons!

 

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This will give off a super casual, fun, athletic vibe! Extra points if you start jogging in place.

 

So nice to meet you! I wish that I weren’t too busy for friends!

 

If you’re going to be the next Nobel Prize winner, there’s no way you can waste time establishing and maintaining a social network.

 

I’m not in a rush to rush, but I wouldn’t say that I don’t want to rush.

 

It’s never too early to establish your totally chill, relaxed interest in that #sorority or #frat life.

 

I’d just like to say that I wish Blueno had been here for all of my time at Brown.

 

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Everyone loves an art critic.

 

Images via, via, viaviavia, and via Kelly Carey-Ewend ’19.

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