Date or no date: deciphering Brown’s hangout spots

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Navigating the college dating scene can be tricky, especially when it comes to interpreting the seemingly arbitrary location your crush has chosen for a meet-up. Is it actually a date? Did you just get friend-zoned? Did they choose a dining hall simply because they’re really hungry? It can be hard to tell. Fortunately, this simple guide to Brown’s best meeting places will save you from ever having to read minds again.

 

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The Ratty: Sorry, buddy…this one’s platonic. Your date/study buddy/partner-in-lunch wants this meeting to be as public as possible, and chances are, you’ll end up sitting at the corner of an already-full table spending more time eavesdropping on some sophomore girl’s drama than having your own conversation. Conclusion: NOT a date.

 

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Blue Room: This meeting spot is definitely a step up from the Ratty. A little known fact is that “Meet me at the Blue Room” directly translates into “Hey girl, I’d spend three of my points just to have coffee with you.” If they’re really into you, they’ll even pretend not to flinch when the cashier swipes their card and says, “Points?” That’s love. Conclusion: It’s a date.

 

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Andrews: The person you’re meeting is probably a freshman. If they’re not, they either like hanging out with freshmen or want freshmen to see you guys hanging out. Do what you will with this information. Conclusion: ????

 

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Quiet Green: One of the more romantic greens on campus (sorry Ruth), the Quiet Green breeds true love. Asking someone to meet here may sound perfectly innocent, but little do they know how good you look leaning against a lamppost (with outlets!!!). Since people seem to think you’re supposed to be quiet on the Quiet Green (someone please confirm or deny this), convince your date you’re an extremely considerate peer by shushing them when they try to make conversation. Meeting at the Quiet Green is the perfect preventative measure for the awkward among us. Conclusion: It’s a date.

 

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VDub: Monday through Thursday? Ouch. No date, honey. Chicken Finger Friday? It’s absolutely a date—accompanying someone to CFF is among the highest of honors. Seal the deal by challenging them to a chicken finger eating contest. The more competitive you get, the better. Conclusion: Possibly a date. Check your calendar. (Tip: If they ask to meet at the VDub midweek, become extremely busy and innocently postpone until Friday. They won’t know what hit them.)

 

Images via, via, via, via, and via, and via Sophie Ulene ’20. 

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