Do you ever wish you were artsy? Did you think that going to Brown would make you artsy, and then realized once you got here that that wasn’t true? Do you secretly regret your mainstream existence?
If you answered yes to any of the above, what you’re missing isn’t the actual art school experience; it’s the experience that comes with people thinking that you go to art school. Here’s how to fix that:
Carry a huge, fashionable bag instead of a backpack. (The bigger the better.)
Alternately, wear a giant scarf á la Lenny Kravitz (this is a real thing that happened).
Use the phrase “major” instead of “concentration.”
Scoff when Econ concentrators insist that they’re following their passion and will have a fulfilling life after college.
Whenever someone tries to make plans, say, “Sorry, I have to work in the studio.”
If a Brown student asks you how to get to Metcalf, give them directions to 7 North Main Street.
RISD’s very own Metcalf Building.
Refuse to work anywhere other than at Bolt Coffee. Act confused when people use BOLT to mean Brown Outdoor Leadership Training.
Tape large pieces of cardboard together to create a “portfolio.” Fill it with snacks. Carry it with you at all times.
Instead of makeup, just put actual paint on your face.
Prove your dedication to visual art by never moving again. Literally become a sculpture.
Alternative: Apply, get accepted to, and attend the Rhode Island School of Design.