The Quest for Free Food

Applause roared around the Brown campus on Monday as the last of 21 free meals in a row was consumed by a student without the use of but a single flex point. This first-year student—who has asked to remain anonymous for concerns of jumping into fame too early—had been planning this never-before-seen heist for weeks. The Blognonian managed to secure an interview with the creator of this “Free Meal Week Project” (alternatively, “No Swipe Nation”):

 

The Blognonian: “How did you come up with this idea and why did you do it?”

Fearsome Food Finagler: “Once I saw how many Computer Science events there were every week that gave out free food, I knew it would only be a matter of joining enough organizations to be able to make it happen. What? it’s free food, so why not?”

 

The Blognonian: “Which organizations are you now a part of to be able to get all that free food?”

Fearsome Food Finagler: “Well, I am concentrating in CS, Econ, BEO, APMA, Engineering, Biology, and Philosophy; I am a democratic socialist, a Democrat, believer in not having political labels, and of course a Republican; I’m a member of the BDH and the Indy, Hillel and the Christian Union, and literally every single DUG. I guess I feel like it’s really important to be involved…even if you only go to the first meeting of the semester for every group you’re in. Practically all the first meetings of these groups have free food, but what they don’t take into account is that my backpack is full of to-go boxes so I can just fill up and run to the next one.”

 

The Blognonian: “What kind of free food do you usually get?”

Fearsome Food Finagler: I guess the one downside of my free food finagling is that it’s always fucking Kabob and Curry. Do clubs know there are other restaurants on campus??

 

The Blognonian: “What have you learned from this experience?”

Fearsome Food Finagler: “The only thing I am truly passionate about is saving Flex Points”

 

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