In-class workouts: Lecture hall edition

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This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series How to lose your freshman fifteen


This one goes out to all the freshmen. Did you use to laugh when people warned you about those pesky pounds you’d gain your first year of college? Do you cry now that it’s all true?


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Well, don’t worry. Blog has got you covered. After all, who better to tell you how to get up off your butt and be healthy than those of us who sit on our butts all day typing away about life at Brown?

We get it, though—finding time to work out can be hard. That’s why we’ve compiled all these handy little exercises you can do to get that beach bod while you sit in that lecture hall class wasting away getting an education. Think of it like a drinking game except with squats instead of shots!

Exercise 1: When you can’t find a seat because your section is absurdly over-enrolled, wall-sit for the entire class.

Simply put your back against the wall and squat down like you’re sitting in chair, except instead of a chair below you, you’ve got the unbearable weight of gravity setting your thighs on fire above you. Bonus: Hold the textbook that’s actually been teaching you all the material this semester for some added weight!


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Exercise 2: When that one guy asks about the underlying neuropsychological implications of synesthesia when you haven’t even covered parts of the brain yet, do thirty knee-to-head textbook raises.

Simply hold your textbook out in front of you, arms slightly bent, and, starting at your knees, raise your textbook up slowly and press it repeatedly against your forehead, increasing intensity as needed. Aim for the prefrontal cortex to make this exercise the most beneficial for both mind and body.

Exercise 3: Finally, when you just can’t take it anymore because the person to your left stole the arm rest and your other neighbor has awful breath and you can’t hear the professor and you know you’re going to fail the upcoming midterm and everything is awful and you just don’t know what to do, complete one curtain pull-down.*

Sprint up to the side of the stage, raise your hands high in the air, grab onto the curtain and channel all that pent-up anxiety into the greatest pull you can muster. We also suggest a nice cool down jog straight out of the building immediately after this exercise.




If you diligently complete these exercises, you should notice results** within just few weeks. Stay tuned for future tips on healthy eating and more in-class workouts!


*May not work for lecture halls that don’t have curtains.

**We don’t really know what the results will be but we can definitely guarantee something will happen.


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