- Week of November 6-12: Resistance, politics, and art (and Fenway Park)
- September 25-October 1: Job fairs, waffles, and mushrooms!
- October 1-October 7: Art shows, bikes, and climate justice
- October 16-October 22: Nick Cave, RISD Museum, and Dog Film Fest!
- October 23-29: Sounds, skulls, and free speech
- October 30-November 4: Food trucks and WaterFire!
- November 13-19: Concerts and StorySlam
- November 20-26: Thanksgiving Break Edition
- December 3-10: Holiday sweets, shopping, and music!
- February 5-11: Reproductive Freedom, Podcasts, and DATAMATCH!!!!
Monday, November 20
Event: Enjoy the silence of your newly-empty dorm room
Location: Your newly-empty dorm room
Time: 8:00 p.m.
Now’s the perfect time for that long-awaited hookup! Too bad your hookup already left campus, too.
Tuesday, November 21
Event: Sleep through the mandatory, attendance-taking 9:00 a.m. class that you delayed your flight home for
Location: Your bed
Time: 9:30 a.m.
It would be smart to go to that class, but if you were smart, you would already be back home in your bed right now.
Event: Pack 17 T-shirts for your four-day trip
Location: Your room
Time: 4:51 p.m.
Just in case you have to change 5 times a day. Can’t let your parents think you’re an outfit-repeater.
Wednesday, November 22
Event: Fantasize about mashed potatoes
Location: The gas station
Time: 4:46 p.m.
You won’t know what brought it on but you can’t stop thinking about how soft and fluffy they are….mmmmm.
Event: Realize you and your high school friend have nothing in common anymore
Location: Their house
Time: Five minutes after you walked in
You tried recapping all your sloppy-drunk stories but ran out of material almost immediately. Better aggressively pet their cat for 45 minutes before saying you have to go home to catch the news.
Thursday, November 23
Event: Have an awkward conversation with your aunt who thinks Brown is a historically black college
Location: The dinner table
Time: 6:45 p.m.
She’s definitely just clueless. Probably. Hopefully. Who did she vote for again?
Event: Smear cranberry sauce all over your naked body
Location: Your bed
Time: 10:45 p.m.
Moisturizing never tasted so good.
Friday, November 24
Event: Play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey
Location: Naked in the forest
Time: 12:01 a.m.
It’s time, baby.
Event: Scroll through instagram and purposefully avoid liking any photos of people participating in a marathon, half-marathon, 10K, 5K, or Turkey Trot.
Location: Your couch
Time: 11:24 a.m.
Don’t they know Thanksgiving is the time to do literally the opposite of exercise? You resent them, but not enough to actually get off the couch. You continue scrolling through social media without the slightest movement until your phone dies.
Saturday, November 25
Event: See a non-friend from high school from afar and literally hide
Location: The grocery store parking lot
Time: 3:14 p.m.
Is that Tracy Gilmore? She looks pretty good, although it’s hard to tell from behind this dumpster.
Sunday, November 26
Event: Walk your dog for seven minutes before getting lazy and going home
Location: Your neighborhood
Time: 5:47 p.m.
It was cute for the first few seconds but now you’re just cold and it’s not like she’s going to be able to tell the difference. Dogs don’t understand time.
Event: Break up with your high school significant other while simultaneously refusing to admit that you let this go on for way, way too long
Location: The couch after your conversation trails off
Time: There is no right time but you have to do it now because your plane leaves in an hour.
Honestly, you’re a little bitter that they didn’t initiate it. Why are you always the bad guy? Whatever. #TurkeyDrop