November 20-26: Thanksgiving Break Edition

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This entry is part 8 of 9 in the series WTDTW

Monday, November 20

 

Event: Enjoy the silence of your newly-empty dorm room

Location: Your newly-empty dorm room

Time: 8:00 p.m.

 

Now’s the perfect time for that long-awaited hookup! Too bad your hookup already left campus, too.

 

Tuesday, November 21

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Event: Sleep through the mandatory, attendance-taking 9:00 a.m. class that you delayed your flight home for

Location: Your bed

Time: 9:30 a.m.

 

It would be smart to go to that class, but if you were smart, you would already be back home in your bed right now.

 

Event: Pack 17 T-shirts for your four-day trip

Location: Your room

Time: 4:51 p.m.

 

Just in case you have to change 5 times a day. Can’t let your parents think you’re an outfit-repeater.

 

Wednesday, November 22

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Event: Fantasize about mashed potatoes

Location: The gas station

Time: 4:46 p.m.

 

You won’t know what brought it on but you can’t stop thinking about how soft and fluffy they are….mmmmm.

 

Event: Realize you and your high school friend have nothing in common anymore

Location: Their house

Time: Five minutes after you walked in

 

You tried recapping all your sloppy-drunk stories but ran out of material almost immediately. Better aggressively pet their cat for 45 minutes before saying you have to go home to catch the news.

 

Thursday, November 23

 

Event: Have an awkward conversation with your aunt who thinks Brown is a historically black college

Location: The dinner table

Time: 6:45 p.m.

 

She’s definitely just clueless. Probably. Hopefully. Who did she vote for again?

 

Event: Smear cranberry sauce all over your naked body

Location: Your bed

Time: 10:45 p.m.

 

Moisturizing never tasted so good.

 

Friday, November 24

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Event: Play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey

Location: Naked in the forest

Time: 12:01 a.m.

 

It’s time, baby.

 

Event: Scroll through instagram and purposefully avoid liking any photos of people participating in a marathon, half-marathon, 10K, 5K, or Turkey Trot.

Location: Your couch

Time: 11:24 a.m.

 

Don’t they know Thanksgiving is the time to do literally the opposite of exercise? You resent them, but not enough to actually get off the couch. You continue scrolling through social media without the slightest movement until your phone dies.

 

Saturday, November 25

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Event: See a non-friend from high school from afar and literally hide

Location: The grocery store parking lot

Time: 3:14 p.m.

 

Is that Tracy Gilmore? She looks pretty good, although it’s hard to tell from behind this dumpster.

 

Sunday, November 26

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Event: Walk your dog for seven minutes before getting lazy and going home

Location: Your neighborhood

Time: 5:47 p.m.

 

It was cute for the first few seconds but now you’re just cold and it’s not like she’s going to be able to tell the difference. Dogs don’t understand time.

 

Event: Break up with your high school significant other while simultaneously refusing to admit that you let this go on for way, way too long

Location: The couch after your conversation trails off

Time: There is no right time but you have to do it now because your plane leaves in an hour.

 

Honestly, you’re a little bitter that they didn’t initiate it. Why are you always the bad guy? Whatever. #TurkeyDrop

 

Images via, via, via, via, and via Kelly Carey-Ewend ’19

Series Navigation<< November 13-19: Concerts and StorySlamDecember 3-10: Holiday sweets, shopping, and music! >>
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