- Freshman year: “Sweetie!!! How’s school? Friends are good? Classes are good? Food is good? Are you eating enough? Doing laundry? Should I send you food? Clothes? Want us to come visit soon? Next weekend? Just for the day?”
- Sophomore year: “Do you have a boyfriend? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? I don’t believe you, there have to be SOME nice Jewish boys! Did you hear your cousin got herself a boyfriend? Better get moving. Grandchildren? It looks like the food is good this year, you look, uh, healthy! Maybe I should stop sending snacks? Ok but really, no boyfriend?”
Seeing your friends:
- Freshman year: “REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!” You’ve missed your friends SO much since leaving for school, and now nothing sounds better than seeing EVERYONE from your past! Yes, that includes your exes, their entire families, and everyone else you’ve ever known!
- Sophomore year: “What are you talking about, I’m just here to see my mom.”
Sleeping in your room:
- Freshman year: Nothing is better than sleeping in your bed for the first time since going to college. The temperature is normal, the room is quiet, and your bed isn’t ten feet off the ground. Incredible.
- Sophomore year: You arrive home only to find that your room has been magically transformed into a storage unit, and somehow all of your own stuff has disappeared. Are your parents trying to send you a message? Or perhaps they actually just forgot about you?
Being back in your neighborhood:
- Freshman year: Even if you only have three days at home, you’ll find a way to make it to every restaurant you’ve ever loved since age four. You’ll probably even go to each one with a different high school friend, lining up back-to-back dates for every second you’re home.
- Sophomore year: At this point, leaving your house means accepting the possibility of seeing someone you know, and it is simply not worth it. Have your little brother bring home your favorite sandwich for you, or maybe just go without food for a few days. You’ll be fine.